1 Thessalonians 1:4

For we know, brothers loved by God, that he has chosen you, because our gospel came to you not simply with words, but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and with deep conviction.

I have forgotten the day and the year, but not so much the hour. Nonetheless, I will never forget the place where the Holy Spirit overwhelmed me with God's power. I was standing in the gymnasium at First English Lutheran Church in Peoria, Ill. There were about 200 people there that day eating lunch with us when I looked across the room and saw our associate pastor. I couldn't help but think I need to go say thank you, thank you for coming to my home -- weeks, months, I don't remember, before -- and witnessing to me and my wife. Pastor sat on the couch and listened to me go on about my worldly view of this and that, quietly and patiently. It must have been difficult, because I am going to be honest, I was way out there. Pastor sat there and listened. When the time had come to leave, pastor said, "That's interesting, Jerry; I'd like to talk with you more about it some time." And with that, we parted.

Weeks or months passed, I had had enough. My wife, Valerie, and I were in a bad place, fighting almost every day. One Thursday, after multiple days of fighting, I stormed out of the house, walked around to the back and sat down on the back stoop. I didn't call myself a Christian during these days, but I still prayed, because I still believed in God. I certainly didn't go to church during this time. In fact, I was so anti-church, on Christmas Eve, when Valerie, a cradle Missouri Lutheran, wanted to go to church with her family, I refused. But believe me, I still believed in God. I couldn't look at the heavens, at the moon and the stars in particular, and not believe. "Why did God make cow shit smell so bad, Valerie," I once asked her before we were married. "It's so that roses will smell so good." My point is, I believed in God.

So there I am, sitting on the back stoop, at wit's end. My prayer went like this, "Please God, help me. I can't do this any more. Please God, help!"

I looked down at my watch and realized it was time to get ready for work. I walked into the house, looked across the room at my wife, and proclaimed, to her surprise and mine, if you will go to First English, I will go with you. Sunday couldn't get there fast enough. I think that was in 1995.

So fast forward back to the gym. Pastor was standing across the room, and I just had to say thanks for witnessing to me without words, for allowing God to break my shell. Just as I was about to speak, it hit me. Actually, God hit me. The Holy Spirit hit me. In that moment, I realized God had forgiven me. God had forgiven me, a really lost soul, a man with a depraved mind. God had forgiven me in spite of all my insubordination. God had forgiven me.

I started bawling, overwhelmed in God's power with joy and sadness all rolled up in one, right there, in the middle of lunch, amid a couple hundred people. "Thanks, pastor, for coming to my house and sitting on my couch and listening to me. God has forgiven me."

Maybe you are a cradle Lutheran like my wife, who for her entire life has believed and has been forgiven. I think I have believed for most of mine. But unlike Valerie, there were times I had serious doubts; I just had to question everything. But don't for a second think God doesn't overwhelm us with the power of the Holy Spirit. Don't for a second think that the Holy Spirit doesn't set your life on fire. He certainly did it with me, to me.

Thanks be God. I believe. In my belief, I have found immeasurable peace: peace through God, with my wife, with my family, with my coworkers, with my church, with me. That's one thing Thessalonians is illustrating here. When we believe, which is a gift from God, so that no one can boast, including my wife, God transforms us. Sometimes, that transformation is slow. Sometimes, it is radical. Sometimes, we resist. Nonetheless, God will transform you, just like he did with the Thessalonians.

I don't understand why we resist. If you believe, pray -- pray that God will complete the transformation in your life; pray that he will strengthen your belief into a deep conviction. He will. He did it with me. I am sure he will do it with you too. Just believe.